Self Improvement

Exclusivity & My Inner Circle

Let’s talk



& Courage.

But not all at once! I mean, I don’t want to rush it. I love this topic, and I really want to do it justice. Maybe we’ll just get our feet wet today, and full on cannonball in next time.

But first, a little on Evolution:

Blog Evolution, that is.
After 2 months of PT Contender, I am now toying with the idea of becoming more personal vs my current set up. I want to let you guys in a little more. And by in, I mean in my head…& my heart & soul & unconventional opinions. I’m slowly learning more about blogging/social media/physical therapy and it’s all so fascinating. I constantly have something I want to share with you guys!

[SIDENOTE] survival of the fittest type evolution coming up sooner than you think

But still, I want to be conscious of what I share because possible readers are PT school decision-makers, future professors, future patients even?!  So, what I post will always be deliberate. [Read: Realness backed by a lot of thoughtful consideration]

Now, I want to share not so much how I spend my time, but WHO I spend it with, and why.

Let’s DTR* on our main points:

-Influence: It’s cliché, but we are the sum of the people we spend the most time with.

-Standards: The people we spend time with largely influence our standards.

-Courage: This is the tool we’ll use to build/rebuild our inner circle.

[*Define the Relationship]

I’m currently building my inner circle and filling it with people I want to be influenced by.

For example, my parents. My parents are both in my inner circle – and it’s not because they’re my parents. It’s because I admire them and am impressed by what they’ve accomplished in their lives. This will not be the case for everyone. You may not admire your parents or want to be anything like your parents. My parents and my sister are the only family I have in mine – no grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins – the relationship just isn’t there.

Another thing: I don’t let negative people in my circle. None! They bring no value to my life and I would much rather surround myself with positive people. Do not apologize for being selective about your circle!

We all know that everyone is different, so our ideal circles are going to be very different.

Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, had a unique method for controlling who influenced his life. He had an “Invisible Council.” He literally put together a list of people he admired and imagined they were all his closest advisors – his inner circle. He would imagine sitting with all his heroes and he’d ask their opinions, and imagine what they would say in real life. Some people on his Invisible Council = Thomas Paine, Abraham Lincoln, & Charles Darwin.

Here’s an example of what he’d say to his imaginary council members (from the book):

“Mr. Darwin, I wish to acquire from you the marvelous patience, and ability to study cause and effect, without bias or prejudice, so exemplified by you in the field of natural science.”

I find it so interesting that he chose these historical people as his inner circle, and his mentors from afar. I do something similar, but we’ll save that for another post.

The importance of your inner circle is HUGE. It can make or break you! Call me dramatic, call me Emily Gilmore, but I truly believe in keeping your inner circle insanely & unapologetically exclusive.

Thoughts? Do you pay close attention to your inner circle?

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48 thoughts on “Exclusivity & My Inner Circle

  1. Brilliant! This is a definite game changer in life. I love my parents as well, they adopted me and saved me from an orphanage and life of poverty and dispare in a third world country, but my mother is co-dependent as my sister (her birith daughter) was a drug addict and alcoholic with 3 kids who suffered greatly and my brother (her birth son) had major anger issues, so my mother is a very negative and a non-supportive person towards me and many times she was jealous of my life. Thankfully my husband was military so I was not around that for 24 years of my life and we did not want to expose our children to it either so it was easy for us to be away from it. My husband’s family is very very close and a very positive family so we are closer to them. It was hard to say “Mom, I can’t have your negativity or my sibling issues around my family, especially my children, so we will no longer visit you.” because I DO love my parents, but we do what is best for ourselves and our children, especially when we have our own issues as well – my kids are Autistic, my husband is Autistic, and I have anxiety – with all that, we could not afford to be around negativity. POSITIVE people and friends are what gets us through LIFE! You are on the RIGHT path and I am glad we were able to connect via wordpress =)

    1. Oh wow, I can only imagine how tough a conversation that was with your mom. That’s where courage steps in — when you know what you have to do but its uncomfortable & maybe a little messy. I know making that decision took a lot of courage! I always admire when people live according to their values & standards even if it’s not the norm or what most think is ‘supposed to happen.’ I am so glad we did too, Kat! Thx for all the encouragement & for your story :))

  2. I’m all for having an inner circle. In fact I think it’ just natural because even among your friends there are some that you go to first. And there’s no time for negativity anywhere. Life is too short to be weighed down by other people’s anchors.

  3. You are so spot on! My parents were in my inner circle as well for the same reason as you. Also, my Mom and I had a great relationship all throughout my teen years. It was weird seeing friends alienated from their parents; I thought it was not normal. lol. As for negative people; that’s the right attitude. I go so far as to unfollow people on Facebook who are negative or post only political rants. It’s made my life much happier as a result!

    As for being a more personal blog, DO IT! It’s your space to use as you wish! My blog is focused on my healthy lifestyle and fitness, but in the end, it’s my journey and my life, and non-diet and exercise things end up there quite often.

    1. I just saw your comment! I was playing around in the dashboard and your comment somehow ended up as Spam! I had a couple other things in there too. So weird! Learned something new. And I’m sorry it’s taken forever for me to respond.

      I think it’s so sweet that you & your mom had that relationship even when you were that young. I bet she loved that :)) And yes, I am headed in the direction of making it more personal! Thank you for the advice — you would definitely know because you’ve shared your very personal journey so I think I can trust you! lol Thank you for commenting :))

  4. This is such a great post–the people who you surround yourself with are often a reflection of yourself, and I agree with not letting negative people surround you! I’ll be sure to add you on snap.

    I think a big professional moment for me was at a charity work event a few weeks back, we each were allowed to invite a few friends, and I had invited my inner circle. My boss had commented on how we all were such spectacular individuals, and that I had surrounded myself with such great people! And in that moment, I realized the importance of surrounding yourself with positive individuals, because not only do positive vibes make life better, but also professionally and socially they are a reflection upon yourself.

    1. Thx Chrissey <3 Your boss must really care about you to consider who you're surrounding yourself with :)) I like that you said they are a reflection of ourselves — very true! Glad your inner circle is strong & trustworthy enough to take to work events!

  5. Great post and yes so true you really do have to be so careful who you let in there or their negativity can bring you down, especially me being someone who is very easily affected by what others say and do. I’ve had to make a conscious decision to not let some people’s comments bother me to stop this.

  6. I’m also very particular about who I let in to my inner circle. One must surround himself with people he can trust and rely on and not people who are with you for their own selfish reasons. Great post!

  7. I’m with you on this, & maybe that’s why I only have a few friend, and many distant acquaintance. I’m very exclusive of who I let in my actually personal life. This is why I love WordPress, this community is so much different than any other platform that Iv tried. Most people here are kind, supportive , and have good intentions. Great post Jess😊

  8. So glad I came across this lovely post this morning, thanks to the lovely ‘Thistles and Kiwis’ (was exploring who else she had nominated)

    Saw this and thought ooh yes . . .I have a tiny inner circle and then rings which slowly go out and get larger and larger 🙂 but it is the inner circle that it is really cherished. Thanks for the simple yet beautiful reminder.

  9. I’m SUPER similar to you in this way!! I feel like time is too precious to invest in “luke warm” relationships. Yeah, we all have acquaintances, but our true true friends will inevitably create that inner circle that we can spend time nurturing! (And we have to be incredibly mindful of those types because they can definitely influence us and bring us up or down!) Great thoughts, Jess!

    1. Thank you, Kenzie!! great way to put it:: lukewarm. So true, because we aren’t going to invest in just anyone. Great to hear from you, and to know that you like your relationships HOT, not lukewarm lol :))

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